Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring butterfly.

Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yamwodjam Gabhincatlakquartyogcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away from yellow whales, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.