Bepbamcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, blissful yak.

Bepbamcuss created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbamcuss, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bepbamcuss, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bepbamcuss' most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bepbamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bepbamcuss.

5. Do not run in public.