Gov is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, resourceful capybara.

Gov created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gov, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gov, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gov's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Gov's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gov.

2. Never sit near hamsters.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Hide from blue cats for they are unholy.

5. Never feed pineapples to mites while wearing mauve rings.