Gupdampig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, generous faun.

Gupdampig created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupdampig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gupdampig, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gupdampig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gupdampig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always help sick squirrels.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Worship no other gods but Gupdampig.