Fitditnar is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful unicorn.

Fitditnar created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitditnar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fitditnar, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fitditnar's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fitditnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.