Jatlanfun is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil ferret.

Jatlanfun created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Jatlanfun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jatlanfun, he will jump up and down on your head.

Jatlanfun's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jatlanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to mites while wearing white jumpers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Jatlanfun loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.