Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, selfish lizard.

Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim, he will destroy your home planet.

Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Lopsabsatbidjarnnancim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Respect your elders.