Zogbatpang is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, vain spider.

Zogbatpang created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbatpang, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zogbatpang, it will manifest in front of you.

Zogbatpang's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zogbatpang's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not take Zogbatpang's name in vain.