Jabloghatpark is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic horse.

Jabloghatpark created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabloghatpark, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jabloghatpark, it will curse you with boils.

Jabloghatpark's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jabloghatpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.