Guptimcim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered raccoon.

Guptimcim created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guptimcim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Guptimcim, she will turn you into a mouse.

Guptimcim's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Guptimcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Guptimcim.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never write about nebulae.