Hitgemrat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, effective duck.

Hitgemrat created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitgemrat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hitgemrat, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hitgemrat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hitgemrat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five squirrels approach from the west.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Never talk about bacteria.