Besscarbum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless mouse.

Besscarbum created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besscarbum, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Besscarbum, it will cry a lot.

Besscarbum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Besscarbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Besscarbum's name in vain.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near seals while wearing purple shirts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your head.