Tenyarpwab Flatfidren is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, staggering gerbil.

Tenyarpwab Flatfidren created the Sombrero Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenyarpwab Flatfidren, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tenyarpwab Flatfidren, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tenyarpwab Flatfidren's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tenyarpwab Flatfidren's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not eat aubergines.

5. Always help squirrels.