Hatbomweg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring deer.

Hatbomweg created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatbomweg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hatbomweg, he will turn you into a plant.

Hatbomweg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hatbomweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.