Sandfigjap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering capybara.

Sandfigjap created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandfigjap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sandfigjap, he will turn you into a plant.

Sandfigjap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sandfigjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must pray to Sandfigjap seven times a day.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.