Jatbogcap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witty fish.

Jatbogcap created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Jatbogcap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jatbogcap, she will laugh at you.

Jatbogcap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jatbogcap's Holy Commandments

1. Jatbogcap loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never hurt rats.