Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent mongoose.

Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tarpfutbom Pondithad Saspidbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to snakes while wearing blue stockings.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing purple ear rings and balancing four carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Never wear fawn skirts.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.