Flatsas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omnipotent armadillo.

Flatsas created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatsas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flatsas, he will turn you into a worm.

Flatsas' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flatsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Never run in the presence of goats.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.