Davtikwik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable camel.

Davtikwik created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davtikwik, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Davtikwik, she will jump up and down on your head.

Davtikwik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Davtikwik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Davtikwik.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.