Teenfobhab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, self-confident whale.

Teenfobhab created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfobhab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Teenfobhab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Teenfobhab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Teenfobhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.