Timbomsas Sawtafraw is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, cheerful cobra.

Timbomsas Sawtafraw created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timbomsas Sawtafraw, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Timbomsas Sawtafraw, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Timbomsas Sawtafraw's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Timbomsas Sawtafraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Timbomsas Sawtafraw on top of all buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.