Spagrakdog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, astonishing walrus.

Spagrakdog created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagrakdog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Spagrakdog, he will curse you with boils.

Spagrakdog's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Spagrakdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Hide if three rats approach from the south.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed bread to snakes while wearing white tights.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.