Tadmetjip is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud swallow.

Tadmetjip created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadmetjip, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tadmetjip, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tadmetjip's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tadmetjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Retreat if nine goats approach from the north.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Always help seals in need.