Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate porpoise.

Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Negsawsab Honditbap Cimlamnurtmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to whales while wearing brown jumpers.

2. You must never eat corn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Pray towards the west.