Dunbopvad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, irritating lobster.

Dunbopvad created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dunbopvad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dunbopvad, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dunbopvad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dunbopvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.