Nargeptagtun is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous unicorn.

Nargeptagtun created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nargeptagtun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nargeptagtun, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nargeptagtun's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nargeptagtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Run away from red pigs, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing fawn stockings.