Bifbonkfid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, tiresome fish.

Bifbonkfid created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifbonkfid, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bifbonkfid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bifbonkfid's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bifbonkfid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bifbonkfid.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not take Bifbonkfid's name in vain.

4. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat corn.