Lamyarlmad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ill-tempered hyena.

Lamyarlmad created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamyarlmad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lamyarlmad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Lamyarlmad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Lamyarlmad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lamyarlmad.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must never eat peanuts.