Cipsomtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating swallow.

Cipsomtonk created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipsomtonk, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cipsomtonk, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cipsomtonk's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cipsomtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to tortoises while wearing orange rings.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Cipsomtonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Hide if five sheep approach from the south.