Didstikcun Vindabpin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous elephant.

Didstikcun Vindabpin created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didstikcun Vindabpin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Didstikcun Vindabpin, she will ignore you.

Didstikcun Vindabpin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Didstikcun Vindabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must love Didstikcun Vindabpin.