Tarptadhon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust crow.

Tarptadhon created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptadhon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarptadhon, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tarptadhon's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tarptadhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve ear rings.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always obey Tarptadhon's priests.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.