Dinyokcim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful seal.

Dinyokcim created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Dinyokcim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dinyokcim, she will destroy your favourite star.

Dinyokcim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dinyokcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not chant in public.