Fliswiknill is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, almighty rhinoceros.

Fliswiknill created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fliswiknill, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fliswiknill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fliswiknill's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fliswiknill's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fliswiknill on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Run away from white goats, for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.