Gamnadtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, idiotic seal.

Gamnadtig created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Gamnadtig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gamnadtig, he will curse you with boils.

Gamnadtig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gamnadtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never write about black holes.