Tonkhenparkxemgadcid is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent penguin.

Tonkhenparkxemgadcid created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkhenparkxemgadcid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonkhenparkxemgadcid, it will turn you into a mole.

Tonkhenparkxemgadcid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tonkhenparkxemgadcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.