Jatfemtal is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, strong monkey.

Jatfemtal created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatfemtal, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jatfemtal, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jatfemtal's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jatfemtal's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises.

2. Run away from green squirrels, for they are unholy.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Always help mites in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jatfemtal.