Ladluntit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tranquil giraffe.

Ladluntit created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladluntit, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladluntit, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ladluntit's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Ladluntit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine cats in a large pit.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about special relativity near great tits while wearing indigo shorts and balancing five nickel spheres on your chest.

4. Retreat if six eagles approach from the south.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.