Sakflowpaddubfunnan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered wolf.

Sakflowpaddubfunnan created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakflowpaddubfunnan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sakflowpaddubfunnan, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sakflowpaddubfunnan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sakflowpaddubfunnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Hide from purple seals for they are unholy.