Ripyarzak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing warg.

Ripyarzak created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripyarzak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ripyarzak, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ripyarzak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ripyarzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Run away if eight birds approach from the west.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not commit murder.