Nablab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, calm seal.

Nablab created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nablab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nablab, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nablab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nablab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never feed corn to moths while wearing pink ear rings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nablab.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about manatees.