Lenquagjad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless cow.

Lenquagjad created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenquagjad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lenquagjad, it will ignore you.

Lenquagjad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lenquagjad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three sheep approach from the north.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Put Lenquagjad first in all things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not hurt snakes.