Xemvabsad Ladtik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, caring dragonfly.

Xemvabsad Ladtik created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemvabsad Ladtik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xemvabsad Ladtik, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xemvabsad Ladtik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Xemvabsad Ladtik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Xemvabsad Ladtik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to eagles while wearing blue shirts.

5. Never think ill of sick sharks.