Pitsugvil is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, grumpy goat.

Pitsugvil created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitsugvil, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pitsugvil, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pitsugvil's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Pitsugvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Put Pitsugvil first in all things.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pitsugvil.