Batbarnvon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful dingo.

Batbarnvon created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Batbarnvon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Batbarnvon, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Batbarnvon's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Batbarnvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not take Batbarnvon's name in vain.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.