Tapdutbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring squid.

Tapdutbonk created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapdutbonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapdutbonk, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tapdutbonk's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tapdutbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Tapdutbonk's name in vain.

5. Never laugh in holy places.