Futgepnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic fox.

Futgepnutt created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futgepnutt, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Futgepnutt, it will turn you into a tree.

Futgepnutt's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Futgepnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never paint your legs black.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. You must love Futgepnutt.

5. Always help moths in need.