Zubfarnfoss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, proud clam.

Zubfarnfoss created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zubfarnfoss, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zubfarnfoss, he will make you grow a tail.

Zubfarnfoss' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zubfarnfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Put Zubfarnfoss first in all things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look in ponds.