Cubzotflab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered squid.

Cubzotflab created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cubzotflab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cubzotflab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Cubzotflab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cubzotflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not chop down trees.