Sagpagham is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud jackal.

Sagpagham created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagpagham, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sagpagham, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sagpagham's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sagpagham's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear mauve.