Gonlarnbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able zebra.

Gonlarnbonk created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonlarnbonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonlarnbonk, he will cry a lot.

Gonlarnbonk's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gonlarnbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Do not stand on grass.